For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
I have this verse taped on the bulletin board above my desk with various other notes, artwork from my kids and pictures that are important to me. Over the last few weeks it seems as if I’ve needed that reminder over and over again – the reminder that there is nothing, nothing at all that can separate us from the love of God.
While this promise is reassuring, sometimes I wish there was more to it. As some of you know, one of my other favorite (and least favorite in some ways) stories in the bible is the story of the two builders. You might remember this story from the Sunday School song (if you don’t, you can check it out in your bibles – Matthew 7:24-28) that someone always seems to sing when the story comes up. This is the story of the wise man who built his house upon the rock, and foolish man who built his house upon the sand. It is another one of the great parables that Jesus uses to teach us, and I think the message is one we need to hear again and again. You see the beauty in this story is that the same storms came to the wise man and the foolish man. If you read this in your bible, you’ll see that the same words are used – the rains poured down, the rivers flooded and winds beat against that house – the only real difference is that the wise man’s house stays strong.
Here is where my love/hate relationship with this story begins. It becomes clear that God doesn’t promise us a life free of storms. I wish it said that the wise man, who built his house on the rock, lived happily ever after with perfect sunny days – but it doesn’t. The same storms that came to the foolish man, came to the wise man. God’s promise in this story, is that God will carry us through the storms that come our way, so that when the storms end, we will be standing. It really is the promise that goes back to Romans 8 – that nothing can separate us from God’s amazing love.
Will there be storms? Absolutely. Sometimes it seems like they are all around us. Over the last several weeks I’ve cried with a friend who has a scary diagnosis looming in her future. I’ve been following several people’s journeys with serious illness and death, sometimes sudden, and always seemingly unfair. I’ve been honored to be a part of these journeys. There are people and places struggling with natural disaster, poverty and hunger. Sometimes these storms can feel overwhelming. Then, in the midst of it all you begin to see the light beginning to shine through the clouds. The light comes in the form of kind words from a friend, in communities coming together to support those who are hurting, in a hug when you needed it most and through the Word of God that speaks to you time and time again. In those moments we begin to see the ways God has helped us through the storms. We begin to see the people that were placed in our lives to help us. We emerge from the storm, still standing.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Talking to kids about Tragedy
In the job that I have, I've had a lot of conversations lately with parents about how to talk to their kids about great "tragedies" - everything from the disaster in Haiti to a death in the family or even a divorce. Marilyn Sharpe write this great article that I found to be very helpful!
PUTTING ON MY PARENT EDUCATOR'S HAT:
RESPONDING TO THE EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI IN OUR FAMILIES
None of us want our children to know loss or pain, suffering or tragedy. We'd like to insulate them from illness, injury, death, terrorism, and natural disaster. We'd love to preserve their innocence. But that isn't possible.
In this decade alone, parents have had to deal with 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami that devastated the South Pacific, war in Iraq and Afganistan., terrorism, plane crashes, school shootings, injustice, the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, and the death of a dream.
Now, we face the horror of enormous magnitude in the aftermath of the earthquakes in Haiti - photos of desolation, stories of heartbreaking loss, the sheer scale of the devastation.
And, what about the children?
As parents, we have no control over the losses our children will experience, but we can be present with children in times of loss and sorrow, teaching them how to live in and through the hardest times. Adults must be their age-appropriate filters and their wise guides.
What better gift can you give your child than helping them learn to handle loss and tragedy: name it, grieve it, find hope in God's presence and promises, and respond with generosity and care. But, how? Here are a few suggestions:
AVOID
" Telling them that this is God's plan. (God does not cause death and destruction, but promises to be with us in the midst of loss. God brings hope and a future.) " Watching televised accounts, hour after hour. Young children, not understanding replays, assume that the tragedy happens over and over again.
" Talking about it obsessively within earshot of children.
" Assuming kids won't hear, see, or understand the tragedy.
" Denying, diminishing, or demeaning the loss.
" Insulating them from the loss.
POSITIVE WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN
" Tell children, simply, in age-appropriate language, what has happened. Let them hear it from you.
" Name the loss.
" Be present with them.
" Listen to them.
" Answer questions honestly. Sometimes, that answer is "I don't know."
" Name their feelings and give them permission to feel what they feel.
" Grieve it together.
" Imbed them in a community of love, hope and faith.
" Tell and model for them the hope we have in Jesus Christ, who has promised to be with us always, that this life isn't the end of the story.
" Pray.
Do service that makes a difference to others.
PUTTING ON MY PARENT EDUCATOR'S HAT:
RESPONDING TO THE EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI IN OUR FAMILIES
None of us want our children to know loss or pain, suffering or tragedy. We'd like to insulate them from illness, injury, death, terrorism, and natural disaster. We'd love to preserve their innocence. But that isn't possible.
In this decade alone, parents have had to deal with 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami that devastated the South Pacific, war in Iraq and Afganistan., terrorism, plane crashes, school shootings, injustice, the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, and the death of a dream.
Now, we face the horror of enormous magnitude in the aftermath of the earthquakes in Haiti - photos of desolation, stories of heartbreaking loss, the sheer scale of the devastation.
And, what about the children?
As parents, we have no control over the losses our children will experience, but we can be present with children in times of loss and sorrow, teaching them how to live in and through the hardest times. Adults must be their age-appropriate filters and their wise guides.
What better gift can you give your child than helping them learn to handle loss and tragedy: name it, grieve it, find hope in God's presence and promises, and respond with generosity and care. But, how? Here are a few suggestions:
AVOID
" Telling them that this is God's plan. (God does not cause death and destruction, but promises to be with us in the midst of loss. God brings hope and a future.) " Watching televised accounts, hour after hour. Young children, not understanding replays, assume that the tragedy happens over and over again.
" Talking about it obsessively within earshot of children.
" Assuming kids won't hear, see, or understand the tragedy.
" Denying, diminishing, or demeaning the loss.
" Insulating them from the loss.
POSITIVE WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN
" Tell children, simply, in age-appropriate language, what has happened. Let them hear it from you.
" Name the loss.
" Be present with them.
" Listen to them.
" Answer questions honestly. Sometimes, that answer is "I don't know."
" Name their feelings and give them permission to feel what they feel.
" Grieve it together.
" Imbed them in a community of love, hope and faith.
" Tell and model for them the hope we have in Jesus Christ, who has promised to be with us always, that this life isn't the end of the story.
" Pray.
Do service that makes a difference to others.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
So sick of politics!
I usually try to keep my mouth shut when it comes to politics. I have strong feelings on certain issues, just like the next people - but I also have a deep affection for my friends and family, who sometimes hold a different view from my own. Day after day I read blogs, and e-mails and facebook posts from my friends who feel very passionate about their own views and I admit it, instead of "making waves" I keep my mouth closed. I'm not sure if this is the best tactic, but it is what I do.
See the thing is, I think as a society we've forgotten how to "disagree" or debate issues in an effective and intellectual way. Disagreeing with someone is felt as an attack on their character or launches into a lot of yelling and not a lot of listening.
This is partly what discourages me today in the world of politics - the name calling, the falsehoods, the lack of common decency for one another and a basic lack of respect is very troubling to me.
I have friends on both end of the political spectrum. I consider them to all be intelligent, decent people who try very hard to do the "right thing". As a matter of fact, most of them are people who have a deep faith as well - and their faith influences their decisions - which, believe it or not, means we can still land on opposite ends of an issue, and we can both feel that our faith played a part in that decision.
This stuff isn't easy - I frankly sometimes wonder how anyone can identify themselves strongly with one party, because, frankly my thoughts on issues don't fall neatly down any party line, and many of the people I talk to seem to feel the same way. So we keep quiet, unable to fully throw ourselves behind any party and then unsure about whether or not we are doing the right thing.
I admit it, time and time again I compose scathing and witty comebacks to political posts of my friends on Facebook, and then feeling satisfied in my "venting" session I promptly delete my ramblings before posting. Is it because I don't feel passionately about the issue. Certainly not, but I also care deeply about my friends (even those that I may disagree about) and I usually figure that it isn't helpful. If these conversations could all be had by people with mutual respect for each other - it might change the whole tone of politics - because truly, I want to understand the other side even if I don't agree with that. If I don't agree I don't think the other person is dumb - I just feel that we have different priorities or opinions, and THAT IS OK.
I am constantly reminded that it isn't my place to judge other people - I'll leave that up to God. Is it my place to make the world a better place for all God's children - I'd like to think so - but certainly, attacking one another isn't going to help make that happen.
I'll close - I'm not sure why I'm writing this, because I don't even know that anyone would read it (why would they - it has been 7 months since I last posted) - but mostly because today I've written and deleted so many responses, that I had to vent somewhere.... :)
See the thing is, I think as a society we've forgotten how to "disagree" or debate issues in an effective and intellectual way. Disagreeing with someone is felt as an attack on their character or launches into a lot of yelling and not a lot of listening.
This is partly what discourages me today in the world of politics - the name calling, the falsehoods, the lack of common decency for one another and a basic lack of respect is very troubling to me.
I have friends on both end of the political spectrum. I consider them to all be intelligent, decent people who try very hard to do the "right thing". As a matter of fact, most of them are people who have a deep faith as well - and their faith influences their decisions - which, believe it or not, means we can still land on opposite ends of an issue, and we can both feel that our faith played a part in that decision.
This stuff isn't easy - I frankly sometimes wonder how anyone can identify themselves strongly with one party, because, frankly my thoughts on issues don't fall neatly down any party line, and many of the people I talk to seem to feel the same way. So we keep quiet, unable to fully throw ourselves behind any party and then unsure about whether or not we are doing the right thing.
I admit it, time and time again I compose scathing and witty comebacks to political posts of my friends on Facebook, and then feeling satisfied in my "venting" session I promptly delete my ramblings before posting. Is it because I don't feel passionately about the issue. Certainly not, but I also care deeply about my friends (even those that I may disagree about) and I usually figure that it isn't helpful. If these conversations could all be had by people with mutual respect for each other - it might change the whole tone of politics - because truly, I want to understand the other side even if I don't agree with that. If I don't agree I don't think the other person is dumb - I just feel that we have different priorities or opinions, and THAT IS OK.
I am constantly reminded that it isn't my place to judge other people - I'll leave that up to God. Is it my place to make the world a better place for all God's children - I'd like to think so - but certainly, attacking one another isn't going to help make that happen.
I'll close - I'm not sure why I'm writing this, because I don't even know that anyone would read it (why would they - it has been 7 months since I last posted) - but mostly because today I've written and deleted so many responses, that I had to vent somewhere.... :)
Friday, June 5, 2009
Letter to my Younger Self
A friend recently asked me to participate in a project she was doing, based on a book she had read called "Letters to my Younger Self" - if you are interested, I'd encourage you to try it, and I'd love to pass on your letter! Just pick a time in your life that you think was pivotal, and write a letter......here's my attempt....
Dear 20 year old me –
I know you feel like you are drowning. The last year has been one of the most difficult years of your life. I know you’ll never forget the day that you learned she was gone. It doesn’t seem right, it just doesn’t seem fair. Nineteen year old girls are not supposed to die. Nineteen year old girls that are beautiful and vivacious and filled with so much life shouldn’t have their stories splashed all over Unsolved Mysteries. She was your friend and you miss her.
I know you feel unsafe. I know you are angry with God and struggling with your faith. I know you are being reckless and making bad choices. I know your heart is breaking after falling in love with the wrong person, and knowing that you need to let that person go. It feels like everything around you is heartache, and you are struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
I want you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel – and so much hope. You are angry with God – and that is okay. God is big enough to take your anger, and as a very wise man is going to tell you, your anger is encouraging because it means there is a relationship there (you can’t be mad at someone you believe doesn’t exist…right?). You have some pretty fantastic friends, and they will help you get through this dark time in your life. You are going to come out of this with a faith that is pretty amazing – as a matter of fact (I don’t want to scare you or anything) but your faith will eventually influence your career choices, and you will absolutely love your job.
Eventually they will solve this case, and justice will be served – and you will find that although you will never forget, you will be able to forgive. This will be key in your healing process. In addition, you will know how important it is to stay connected to those people who are important to you, so you never have any regrets. There will even be new social networking tools that will help you do this ( and drain a lot of your time) in the future!
As for the boy, you will spend a lot of time worrying about this and this particular relationship. Believe me the sooner you can let it go the happier you will be. God has great things in store for you – including a much healthier relationship and some pretty terrific kids, but you have to be open to it – and that means getting rid of all the other relationship stuff you are holding onto first. Believe me you won’t be sorry!
Take care, I’m looking forward to what the future holds for both of us,
Me at 34
Dear 20 year old me –
I know you feel like you are drowning. The last year has been one of the most difficult years of your life. I know you’ll never forget the day that you learned she was gone. It doesn’t seem right, it just doesn’t seem fair. Nineteen year old girls are not supposed to die. Nineteen year old girls that are beautiful and vivacious and filled with so much life shouldn’t have their stories splashed all over Unsolved Mysteries. She was your friend and you miss her.
I know you feel unsafe. I know you are angry with God and struggling with your faith. I know you are being reckless and making bad choices. I know your heart is breaking after falling in love with the wrong person, and knowing that you need to let that person go. It feels like everything around you is heartache, and you are struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
I want you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel – and so much hope. You are angry with God – and that is okay. God is big enough to take your anger, and as a very wise man is going to tell you, your anger is encouraging because it means there is a relationship there (you can’t be mad at someone you believe doesn’t exist…right?). You have some pretty fantastic friends, and they will help you get through this dark time in your life. You are going to come out of this with a faith that is pretty amazing – as a matter of fact (I don’t want to scare you or anything) but your faith will eventually influence your career choices, and you will absolutely love your job.
Eventually they will solve this case, and justice will be served – and you will find that although you will never forget, you will be able to forgive. This will be key in your healing process. In addition, you will know how important it is to stay connected to those people who are important to you, so you never have any regrets. There will even be new social networking tools that will help you do this ( and drain a lot of your time) in the future!
As for the boy, you will spend a lot of time worrying about this and this particular relationship. Believe me the sooner you can let it go the happier you will be. God has great things in store for you – including a much healthier relationship and some pretty terrific kids, but you have to be open to it – and that means getting rid of all the other relationship stuff you are holding onto first. Believe me you won’t be sorry!
Take care, I’m looking forward to what the future holds for both of us,
Me at 34
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Living with Excess
So Sunday was a busy day for us. We went to the Twins game and saw the Angels play the Twins (the Twins won) and Sam thought he was in seventh heaven! It was a fun game. Afterwards he got to run the bases and see the field up close which of course for him was the "ultimate".
Sunday night we had a musician, Shaun Groves (http://www.shaungroves.com/) , leading worship at our church. If you've never heard his music, it is definitely well worth your time. He is a singer/songwrite that definitely touches my heart everytime I hear him. Shaun was doing a tour for Compassion International, an organization that works to sponsor children in Third World countries to help them get the food they need, necessary basic medical care, and help they hear the Gospel - it is a great organization and on his current tour he is touring for the purpose of gaining sponsors for these kids, paying his own way and traveling around the US to raise awareness. It was a good cause.
As I was listening to him talk about Compassion I was struck by some of the things he was saying. One of which was thinking about what a society of "excess" we live in. He referred to the story in Exodus in which God tells the Israelites to go out each morning and collect the manna, but to collect just enough for the "daily bread". When they don't they find out the excess goes bad - they just don't need the extra, they need to be confidant that God will provide what they need each day, and quite hoarding all the extras.
That's pretty hard for us to do isn't it? Yet if we, especially in America could do this, there would probably be very few people who would have to go hungry. It's amazing to me that our houses just keep getting bigger, and as Shaun said, the thing we are adding the most of to our houses is storage area. Think about it - more places to store our "Extra junk" - our leftovers. Doesn't that seem ridiculous when you really think about - we have so much extra we don't know what to do with it or where to put it, and our neighbors around the world don't even know where their next meal will come from.
We have been preparing for a garage sale at our house, trying to purge some of the "extras" we have and looking at it kind of makes me sad. Do we really need all of that stuff? What does all the stuff get in the way of? Yet, I still find myself comparing myself to my neighbors and what they have and thinking I don't have enough sometimes spinning myself into financial messes because of it.
What a crazy world - somehow I think it is not at all as God intended it to be.
Sunday night we had a musician, Shaun Groves (http://www.shaungroves.com/) , leading worship at our church. If you've never heard his music, it is definitely well worth your time. He is a singer/songwrite that definitely touches my heart everytime I hear him. Shaun was doing a tour for Compassion International, an organization that works to sponsor children in Third World countries to help them get the food they need, necessary basic medical care, and help they hear the Gospel - it is a great organization and on his current tour he is touring for the purpose of gaining sponsors for these kids, paying his own way and traveling around the US to raise awareness. It was a good cause.
As I was listening to him talk about Compassion I was struck by some of the things he was saying. One of which was thinking about what a society of "excess" we live in. He referred to the story in Exodus in which God tells the Israelites to go out each morning and collect the manna, but to collect just enough for the "daily bread". When they don't they find out the excess goes bad - they just don't need the extra, they need to be confidant that God will provide what they need each day, and quite hoarding all the extras.
That's pretty hard for us to do isn't it? Yet if we, especially in America could do this, there would probably be very few people who would have to go hungry. It's amazing to me that our houses just keep getting bigger, and as Shaun said, the thing we are adding the most of to our houses is storage area. Think about it - more places to store our "Extra junk" - our leftovers. Doesn't that seem ridiculous when you really think about - we have so much extra we don't know what to do with it or where to put it, and our neighbors around the world don't even know where their next meal will come from.
We have been preparing for a garage sale at our house, trying to purge some of the "extras" we have and looking at it kind of makes me sad. Do we really need all of that stuff? What does all the stuff get in the way of? Yet, I still find myself comparing myself to my neighbors and what they have and thinking I don't have enough sometimes spinning myself into financial messes because of it.
What a crazy world - somehow I think it is not at all as God intended it to be.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Huh?
I just wrote a whole new post and it vanished with some sort of odd error - probably for the best, cause it was kind of a downer. It has been that kind of a day. Maybe I'll try again later, when things are looking up again.
Friday, February 20, 2009
My Children
Kylie (3 going on 15)
Sam and Kylie (They Like each other most of the time)
Sam playing hockey (he likes it even though mom isn't so sure!)
Last night at our house was one of those night when these two beautiful children, who look innocent enough, pushed all of my buttons. I look at these pictures and think - there is a reason God made them so darn cute!!! Just kidding, but we did have a night. They didn't like dinner, they didn't want to clean up, didn't want to go to bed - all in all we are lucky they are really good kids, but boy do they have their moments, and last night they had all their moments in one night!!! I guess we all have days like that. I'm a lucky girl, I have a great husband and two pretty fabulous kids so I have nothing to complain about. God is good.
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